invest in your mental health: DIY therapy
While I'm the first to encourage and champion finding a mental health professional to support you in pretty much anything and everything — sometimes you need a little extra somethin' somethin' to be able to handle the curveballs life throws us at a moment's notice. Enter my new favorite weekly method of DIY therapy that you can complete in 10 minutes or less! All you need is a pen, some paper, and a moment or two of peace & reflection.
A few months ago I was goin’ THROUGH it. I had a particularly terrible day that was plagued with anxiety that I just couldn’t seem to shake. A dear friend of mine suggested I journal about what I was dealing with to better process my emotional experience.
I put up a FIGHT. I whined to her about journaling being too difficult for like — two hours. Super productive.
What the hell do I journal about?
Ok I wrote it down, great, now it just feels more real and it sucks. What do I do with it?
Journaling takes too long.
Eventually I faced my own bullshit head on. I got so tired of feeling overwhelmed by my anxiety. Normally, I’m a real pro at distracting myself from negative emotions. But that day in particular, none of my friends were answering the phone, I didn’t have plans, it was raining hard enough to keep me from taking a walk. I felt paralyzed. I couldn’t effectively distract myself and I didn’t know how to process it.
So I pulled out my damn journal and I wrote some things down. I told myself I would spend 5 minutes journaling and just see how it felt. Thirty minutes later … I felt like I could breathe again.
One of the biggest barriers for me with journaling is the time I expect it to take. I’m highly skilled at convincing myself that it’s going to take far too long and I have much more important things to attend to. But the reality is that therapeutic journaling can be effective with as little as a 5 minute commitment.
Here’s the method:
Start by writing down, stream of consciousness style, exactly what you’re going through, how it makes you feel, etc. Write without judgement. You may be surprised at what you have to say. Sometimes we may feel embarrassment or shame surrounding how we’ve behaved in a certain situation or how we feel about it — write it down anyway! Stuff this journal under the mattress, in a potted plant, a coffee can in the backyard, wherever! But keep it confidential so that you feel safe saying what ya gotta say with the utmost candor. It can be really challenging to be honest with ourselves.
Label the feeling. How does this situation make you feel? Use your language to label the feeling in one or two words. Feel free to stop there, or elaborate as to why that situation makes you feel that way. There’s nothing wrong with keeping it short & sweet, though!
Tell yourself the truth. This step is the most important. Write what you know to be true. Take a look at the cold hard facts and give yourself the pep talk you’d give your best friend! This is your opportunity to take a step back and evaluate the situation (and more importantly your reaction) with some distance and objectivity. This will help you put things in perspective and hopefully give yourself some grace.
Here’s an example from my own journal a few months ago:
Summarize: I want to be my own boss. I want to work for me and me alone and build a sustainable femmepire. I don’t want to have to rely on side hustles to pay the bills and I’m tired of the fear that comes with financial instability. I want to make big moves and big money, but I’m scared and overwhelmed by the how.
Label the feeling: I feel overwhelmed. I don’t know where to start, who to contact, what to do. I just want to write lists and organize ideas instead of actually doing the things — because doing the things is terrifying to me. I’m overwhelmed by “what ifs” … what if I can’t pay rent? what if I fail? what if it doesn’t work? what if I look silly?
Tell yourself the truth: It’s okay to feel this way, but you have to try. If you want to prove any of those things wrong — you have to try, babe. Prove yourself wrong over and over again. Every damn day. Pick a limiting belief and smash it over the head with your success. Go! You owe it to yourself, to your community, to your ancestors, to future generations just to TRY. Try and just see what happens. You have to try. I love you no matter what.
That’s it! Sometimes this stream of consciousness, unfiltered writing allows us to drift out of our heads for just long enough to feel grounded in reality. You’re doing great, baby.
I’m personally trying to implement this as a weekly practice that complements my weekly visit to my therapist. It serves as a soothing, motivational tool during the week when I don’t have access to a professional and need some sage advice from my #1 fan, and it serves as a point of reference when I want to share specifics with my therapist.
Shout out and endless love to the wise woman who taught me this approach.
I hope y’all give it a try and it brings deeper peace to your lives.
All my love,
G 💋
